Monday, 1 February 2016

Lord Brassica's Right Royal thrones

Valentine's Day is coming and Lord Brassica, Fifth Earl of Drizzly, is in the market for a throne. 

I like this one.



http://hautehousehome.com/p-419-thebes-banquette.aspx

Lord and Lady Brassica are the nearest thing I know to royalty. Here is Lord B with his dog Pru at Drizzly Manor. 




And here is his wife, the elegant Lady Jessica. 







I understand that you've been shopping for thrones recently.

Lady B: Yes, it's my Valentine's present from my husband. I'm redecorating Drizzly Manor and I'd like to get something reflecting our status. 

Well, it's said around Paradise Island that you have a throne in the basement of Drizzly Manor already. Is this true?

Lord B: My wife has a little chair she likes to sit on while she has her nails done.


https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ottoman_throne_ 

This looks like the Greek Ottoman throne. Is it a replica?


Lady B: Good heavens no. I would never (shudder) have replicas in my home. 


Any throne I sit on will be carefully handcrafted specifically for me.




You might be making too much of it, Lady B. Remember, a throne is only a bench covered in velvet.


https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Chateau_de_Versailles

Lord B: It was my pater who said that.

No, it wasn't. It was Napoleon. 

Here's Napoleon's throne by the way. It's in the Louvre in Paris.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/sonofgroucho/8195964198

And here's a painting of Napoleon beside the throne.




Lord B: It looks rather small.

Napoleon was a small man.

Lady B: My husband is a small man.

Just as well he has a heart of gold.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/21202433@N08/6511403009

Lady B: Yes, he's a small man with big pockets. We're a perfect match.

Perhaps you ought to have matching thrones?


https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Thrones_of_the_Yang_di-Pertuan_Agong_and_the_Raja_Permaisuri_Agong

Lady B: These would clash dreadfully with my colour scheme.

What about these?



https://www.flickr.com/photos/jeff-godfrey/2275626965/in/album-72157603937081072

Lady B: One finds metal thrones rather cold. 

Well, back to red then.


https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Royal_Thrones_Ajuda_Palace_Lisbon.jpg

Lady B: I don't care for this shade of red. And I'd prefer something more ornate.

Good heavens, Lady B. These are from the Ajuda Palace in Lisbon. How ornate do you want?

Lady B: A bit more gold wouldn't go amiss. 

How about this? It belonged to King John VI of Portugal.


https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:MHN04.jpg?uselang=en-gb

Lady B: I don't care for the children on the armrests. The lions are a nice touch though.

OK, what about this replica throne made from paper and gold foil? 



https://www.flickr.com/photos/nostri-imago/2871269291/


Lady B: What part of NO REPLICAS don't you understand? 


I thought you didn't care for gold since that fashion debacle with your daughter-in-law at new year?

The fashion forums gave Innocent a gold star for this dress. 





Lady B: Innocent looks ridiculous in this. And it isn't real gold. 

Well, here's a throne in Warsaw with plenty of real gold. 


https://www.flickr.com/photos/zoonabar/4945993691/


Lord B: I say! This is top notch!

Lady B: I disagree. One would feel like a Victorian relic sitting on this. It's too Olde Worlde. 

OK, here is one from the Newe Worlde.



http://www.lifesize-models.co.uk



Lady B: This throne is nothing but a bench.

Lord B: The woman is very attractive. But is she royalty? 

You need to get out more, Lord B. 

This is Michele Obama, 44th First Lady of the United States of America. The Obamas are the nearest thing to royalty in that part of the world.



http://www.lifesize-models.co.uk


Unless you count the King.

www.etsy.com/shop/jackhuertaphoto



Lord B: The name rings a bell. Isn't this that gyrating pop star?

Sorry. I meant this King.The Burger King.


https://www.flickr.com/people/vauvau/


Lady B: I have no idea what you're on about, Seashell. Do get on with it. I have an appointment with my Young Male Reader.




The reader last night was Count Novella. Apparently he's a favourite with some of the European princesses, such as Baroness Gateau of Snowvenia.





Lord B: I expect she
 is in the habit of having her cake and eating it too.

Lady B: My Young Male Reader tonight is a Dutch fellow. William somebody.

Love the trousers, darling. Sooooo masterful. 


www.rijksmuseum.nl 



This is William I, King of the United Kingdom of the Netherlands.

Lord B: Is it the United Kingdom or is it the ruddy Netherlands? Make up your mind! 

Lady B: Here is the throne, which suits me very well whilst being read to.




Lord B: If I didn't know better I'd think this was a bed. 

Lady B: Comfort is very important, darling. 

For reading though, wouldn't this French banquette do?



https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:-banquette Sullyde_style_Louis_XIV Les_Ateliers_Allot_France_..jpg


Lord B: I'd like to see less furniture and more beautiful ladies.

Alright, here is Blogda, a minor royal from Krappistan. 



And just so you know, here is the Krappi throne.


photo by Sheila B

Lord B: I want a good solid British throne. Not all that foreign muck that you get abroad.

Muck? 

You mean like the Gaddi-Nizam throne in Hyderabad?


https://www.flickr.com/photos/kinshuksunil/3582226486  

Or the Qin dynasty throne?



https://www.flickr.com/photos/mharrsch/173460102

Or did you mean Emperor Qin's peacock throne?


https://www.flickr.com/photos/bfs_man/5421718907

Lord B: Tally ho, these are thrones fit for a king!

Which king would that be, Lord B?

Lord B: That wretched King Charles.

Do you mean King Charles III of Spain?



 https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Throne_Charles_III_of_Spain


Lord Brassica: No, not that one. 

Maybe you mean this King Charles?


https://www.flickr.com/photos/anyuser/959413361

Lord B: Heavens no. This is a thoroughly decent hound. 

I mean the one on the throne at the moment.

It's Queen Elizabeth on the throne at the moment. Has been since 1953.

Lord B: I mean that chap who talks to trees. Whathisname.

Prince Charles.




Lord B: That's the one. Here's a throne that would suit him.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/photographingfairies/10189946103

He has just become a grandfather for the second time. 

Next thing you know there'll be another royal wedding.

Lady B: Pass the sickbag.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/murk/5499694936

I thought you'd enjoy a royal wedding, Lady B. All those posh frocks and silly hats. 

Lady Jess: Well, if it's tasteful, yes. But in recent years it's all become rather brash. 

Like you on New Year's Eve?





Lady Jess: I wore tasteful silver, avoiding the terrible bling you see nowadays.

So you're looking for quite a plain throne then. 

Something like this?


http://removeandreplace.com

Lady B: Absolutely not. This is far too nouveau. 

Here's a rather nice one in the traditional style.


http://www.herbeau.com/index.html


Lord B: If I didn't know better I'd think this was a lavatory.

Yes, Lord B, it is a lavatory.

Lady B: This is definitely unsuitable for my throne room.

Maybe you'd prefer ivory?


 https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ivans_ivory_throne 

Lord B: This looks jolly uncomfortable.

Lady B: It's rather . . . plebian.

Hardly. It belonged to Ivan the Terrible of Russia.


www.etsy.com/shop/uneekdolldesigns

Lord B: What's so terrible about him?

You obviously don't know your Kings and Queens. 

Lord B: I most certainly do. My pater was the Right Honourable Lord Brassica Fourth Earl of Drizzly of That Ilk.



https://www.flickr.com/photos/edgebrook/5199684735/

This is Abraham Lincoln.

Lord B: Is it? By jove, perhaps it is. 

You do have a good pedigree though. I wonder if you're related to Henry the Eighth?





Lord B: This woman looks like my mater.

doubt it. Most of King Henry's wives lost their heads in the tower.

Lord B: What tower is that then?

The Tower of London of course. Fastidiously guarded by the dutiful Members of the Sovereign's Body Guard of the Yeoman Guard Extraordinary.



Lord B: I say, this looks like the chap on my gin bottle. He doesn't appear to have a throne.

He doesn't need a throne. He's there to guard the Tower. 

Lord B: This is my father's throne. 


https://www.flickr.com/photos/summer1978/17958566015/  

No, it isn't. This is the throne of the Grace of God, Nicholas II, Emperor and Autocrat of All the Russias. The last emperor, as things turned out.

And here is his wife Tsarina Alexandra, the Empress consort.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/uccellopoultry/303146803/


Lord B: I'd happily consort with her any time. 

I notice she's not wearing a crown. 

Unlike your wife, who seems to have coronated herself.



Lady B: This is a very simple crown and I am entitled to wear it through the privilege of my title.  

Here is my husband's father, Lord Brassica, at Castle Broccoli.




Lord B: And here is my horse Tonks in the family carriage.




Lady B: A carriage bench is essential for royalty, like having a bench for one's tiara.


https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/kbaxter225

I've already thought of that, Lady B. Here's a splendid bench for storing your crown jewels. 


http://www.levelsofdiscovery.com


And now I thought we'd do a bit of a game.

Lord B: Not that blasted Game of Thrones I hope. 


https://www.flickr.com/photos/popculturegeek/5976785707/ 



No, I was thinking more like the Tudors and the Stuarts.




Lord B: I say, you've found a splendid picture of my mater here.

I doubt it. This is Stirling Castle in Scotland. You're not Scottish are you?

Lord B: Certainly not. I'm English right through to my tartan underpants.

In that case you must know this woman. Black Agnes of Dunbar.

www.etsy.com/shop/uneekdolldesigns


Lord B: This is a jolly attractive lass. I wouldn't mind sharing a wee dram with her. 

Are you familiar with the thrones of ancient Egypt? 


www.etsy.com/shop/uneekdolldesigns

Lord B: She looks familiar. Works in the jewelry shop down the road I believe.

No, this is Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt. Here she is on her banquette.

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Harvard_Theatre_Collection


Lord B: Oh, I say! Looks like she could use some company. 

Things didn't go well for her. Something to do with a serpent . . .


https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Throne#/media/File:Roman_throne

And here are Nebsen and Nebet from the reign of Amunhotep III.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/wallyg/2434571867

 
Lord B: I say, these aren't the kind of girls I expect to see on the throne of a European country. 

Tut tut. Egypt isn't a European country. 

And this is a married couple with their arms around each other. 

Lord B: I like to see nice looking girls though. They'd need a throne fit for a princess.

Maybe this would do?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/lorenjavier/4006915695/

Lady B:  It's the kind of thing a girl could sit on while she waits for a frog to turn into a prince.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/pasukaru76/5027174867  



A frog upcycled into a prince - interesting idea. You could take this further and make a throne out of old keyboards. 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/dewolfe001/8479161409/

Lord B: I say, Seashell, you have some very peculiar ideas.



I wonder what you need a throne for, anyway. If it's just to sit and survey your kingdom, wouldn't this do?


https://www.flickr.com/photos/vicotrew/8222224866


 
Lady B: It's rather bohemian for my taste. And I don't care for the colour of the landscape. 

Besides, a royal couple like ourselves needs to be rather more opulent.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/scottrsmith/5595150095/



Queen Victoria wasn't opulent. Here's John Brown's bench at Osborne House on the Isle of Wight. Plain cement with a bit of inscription.


jpg©wyrdlight.com

And here is one of her many jubilee benches. 



It's hardly a thing of beauty.


photo by David Anstiss @ http://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/1711073 



Lord B: This is downright vulgar. There is a litter bin next to it.



Perhaps you prefer this one?





Lord B: Now this one is just my cup of tea. The dogs look like they want feeding though. 



And what about you, Lady B? Have you found a suitable throne?



Lady B: At the moment I'm leaning towards this one. Though unfortunately there is a rather stern-looking person occupying it.


https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Diego_Vel%C3%A1zquez 





Lord B: No problem. I will offer him some cash to vacate. 



I doubt if he will. He's been sitting there since he was painted in 1650. This is the tenth Pope Innocent. 



Lord B: Innocent you say? Same name as my daughter-in-law. 



Looks nothing like her though.





Lady B: He doesn't look the least bit innocent. Nor does she.

I wonder how many people who sit on thrones are entirely innocent?

Lord B: Well, you're about to find out, Seashell. I've commissioned you your very own throne.





Golly. Thanks, Lord B. I like the theme.

Lord B: You've made a right royal hash of this story.

Yes, but at least now I can sit on my throne and command people to read it. 

And by the way, I have found just the thing for you and Lady B. Matching thrones! 

Not replicas. 

Not Olde World red velvet. 

And definitely not nouveau.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/myoldpostcards/5013059760/ 


Credits

Haute House in Hollywood has a wide range of luxury banquettes, ottomans and benches. The hot pink Thebes banquette is a nod to Homer, who praised the wealth of the Ancient Egyptian city of Thebes in The Iliad when he mentioned the heaps of precious ingots that gleamed brightly. Like those precious heaps, this Thebes Banquette is anything but demure.The sophisticated silhouette is serious without being pretentious, saucy without being sassy. Versions of this banquette also come in white and peacock blue and you can customize any Haute House Home piece to your liking.

Lord Brassica, Fifth Earl of Drizzly, is a gentleman farmer here on Paradise Island. He is a descendent, apparently, of a court judge who laid down the law on legal benches. He loves his horse Tonks, his dog Pru,and his 1947 Landrover, in that order. He indulges his wife, Lady Jessica Brassica with a replica mall in the basement of Drizzly Manor, a beach hut on the Esplanade, and unlimited amounts of cash for shopping. However, it has emerged that he doesn't know as much as you'd think about farm animal benches, especially cow benches or sheep benches. He knows a bit more about horse benches, learned from Tonks, and possibly something about dog benches from Pru. What he really knows though, is picnic benches

Lady Jessica Brassica is a fashionista and former model with Studio Joop from Overbearing in Holland. Now she has her own fashion house at Ballyfrumpy in County Offhand in Ireland. She particularly likes yellow benches; she is no fan of pink though. She loves shopping at her replica mall and having poetry read to her by Young Male Readers dot com. She is happily married to Lord Brassica but last summer Lady Jess  spent rather a lot of time at her beach hut with Troy

The Greek Ottoman throne was seized from Thessaloniki during its handing over to the Greeks in 1912, possibly of Abdul Hamid II or w:en:Mehmed V. It was photographed in the National Historical Museum, Athens, Greece in 2007 by Badseed, who is a user and sysop in the Greek language. The photo was made available on Wikimedia

The first red throne is a Venetian throne from the middle of the 18th century, presented from the Venetians to the the Palace of Versailles in France. It was photographed by Lionel Allorge in 2011 for Wikimedia at https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Chateau_de_Versailles_2011_Trone_venitien_1.jpg

Napoleon’s throne is in the Louvre, Paris and it was photographed by the Son of Groucho in 2012. The Son of Groucho is a People Mechanic in Scotland. In other words, he's a doctor. And he has a loyal and affectionate following on Flickr. https://www.flickr.com/photos/sonofgroucho/8195964198

I photographed the painting of Napoleon with his throne at Southampton Art Gallery in February 2015.

King Tut’s golden throne was located in the  Las Vegas Natural History Museum, photographed in 2011 by Dean, who lives in South Jordan in Utah. Dean's albums are full of the staggering beauty of Utah, including views from some of the benches there.   https://www.flickr.com/photos/21202433@N08/6511403009


The two brown matching thrones are replicas of the early thrones of the Yang di-Pertuan Agong and his consort, the Raja Permaisuri Agong. (Lady B would not approve). They are now housed at the National History Museum in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. They were photographed by Adam Carr in 2005 and placed in the public domain at https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Thrones_of_the_Yang_di-Pertuan_Agong_and_the_Raja_Permaisuri_Agong_(replicas).JPG?uselang=en-gb

Jeff Martin lives in Arizona with his wife and two kids and he's a web developer.However, he is also known as Godfrey von Reinfels, the Kingdom Web Minister for the Kingdom of Atenveldt. As Web Minister he photographs events in the Kingdom, such as Estrella War XXIV. There are thrones galore in Atenveldt but I particularly liked this pair, the Gleann Abhann Thrones. They seem to be made from metal and a bit of black tape. https://www.flickr.com/photos/jeff-godfrey/2275626965/in/album-72157603937081072/ 

The pair of matching red thrones are the Royal Thrones of the Ajuda National Palace in Lisbon, Portugal, created in the second half of the 18th century and photographed by Wirdung in 2000. Wirdung is from Lisbon and is doing a great job of providing Wikipedia with reliable information about Portugal's music and history.  https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Royal_Thrones_Ajuda_Palace_Lisbon.jpg

The gold throne with cupids and lions was the throne of King John VI of Portugal. It was photographed by Limongi in 2006 in the National Historical Museum of Brazil. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:MHN04.jpg?uselang=en-gb


The Throne of the Third Heaven of the Nations' Millennium General Assembly is by James Hampton, made from gold and silver aluminum foil, craft paper, and plastic over wood furniture, paperboard, and glass. The elaborate throne dates from 1950-1964, located in Washington DC. It was photographed by Cliff in 2008.  https://www.flickr.com/photos/nostri-imago/2871269291/

Innocent is Lord and Lady Brassica's daughter-in-law. She has emerged from her convent nursing dress into something of a fashion icon. She has become a world class fashion model for Studio Joop, from Overbearing in Holland. And last year she posed on a snowy bench as the Frozen Elsa. But just how innocent is Innocent? 


The red and gold throne with red wallpaper behind is in the Throne Room at the Royal Castle in Warsaw. It dates from Poland's last king, Stanisław Augustus Poniatowski, who redesigned the rooms of the palace in 1777 and joined them to the castle, after which he gave the whole lot to his nephew. The throne was
photographed in 2010 by Chris Brown, who lives in Melbourne.  https://www.flickr.com/photos/zoonabar/4945993691/


The Obamas, Michele and Barrack, are seated on life-sized benches and are themselves life size. They are made by Life Size models from Jolly Roger Ltd., otherwise known as Lifesize Models in the UK. http://www.lifesize-models.co.uk They have thousands of quality resin and fibre-glass 3D life-size models, figures, signs, statues, props, furnishings, etc. Their showroom has over 2000 themed models, which include animals, people, and everything from counter-top coffee beans to fullsize elephants. Their Facebook page shows some of the models in amazing situations  https://www.facebook.com/TheJollyRogerLtd   You will also find them talked about on Twitter https://twitter.com/lifesizemodels  Michele without the bench costs £390+ VAT and the Obamas together cost £799. 

The Elvis is Here bench is from Jack Huerta at  www.etsy.com/shop/jackhuertaphoto   Jack, from Portland, Oregon, does a lot of great photos of beaches, carnivals, festivals, and other colourful things. For more Elvis and other festive musical benches see  http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/festive-festival-benches-liveblogged.html 


Clemens V. Volgelsang is a communications designer and creative director from Liechtenstein. He photographed the bright red Burger King benches in Zurich.  https://www.flickr.com/photos/vauvau/5746151093/  If you're a fan of red benches you might want to have a look at the ever-popular  http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/seeing-red-benches-for-february.html


Baroness Gateau of Snowvenia is actually a cake, designed by Jane Asher for one of her cake books whose title I no longer have. Still, it's a nice cake. And my imaginary friend Miggy has all manner of Jane Asher's cake making stuff. For more about the icy kingdom of Snowvenia, see  http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2015/02/frozen-ice-cold-benches-from-snowvenia.html

The oil portrait is William I (1772–1743) as King of the United Kingdom of the Netherlands. It was painted in 1819 by Joseph Paelinck (1781-1839). King William is wearing the gala uniform of a general, the sash of the Military William Order and a red robe lined with ermine.To the right is the royal throne, and to the left a table with on it the map of parts of Java (Bantam, Jacatra and Cheribon) in modern-day Indonesia. The photo comes from the Rijksmuseum Amsterdam online catalogue at  www.rijksmuseum.nl  I saw it in the public domain at https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:William_I_of_the_Netherlands.jpg?uselang=en-gb

The yellow throne that looks like a bed is a replica of the Royal Throne of Perak. First used  during the installation of His Royal Highness Sultan Iskandar Shah (the 30th Sultan of Perak) in 1918, it has since been used for further coronations including His Royal Highness Sultan Abdul Aziz Al-Mustasim Bilah Shah in 1938, His Royal Highness Sultan Yussuff Izzudin Shah in 1948 and His Royal Highness Sultan Idris Iskandar Al-Mutawakkil Shah II in 1963. The throne is in Istana Iskandariah, Kuala Kangsar, Perak and the author is Gryffindor on Wikimedia at   https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Muzium_Negara_KL49.JPG?uselang=en-gb


The red banquette is the Sully Louis XIV-style replica by Ateliers Allot Frères in France. Rather splendid, n'est-ce pas?  I saw it on at https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:N%C2%B0746-12_banquette_%22Sully%22_de_style_Louis_XIV_r%C3%A9plique_d%27un_mod%C3%A8le_d%27%C3%A9poque_r%C3%A9alis%C3%A9_par_les_Ateliers_Allot_Fr%C3%A8res_..jpg

The broken plastic chair on the beach, aka the royal throne of Krappistan, is actually in Cyprus and was photographed by Sheila B, who lives there (Cyprus, not Krappistan). For more about Krappistan and indeed the other 28 countries of the European Union, let Blogda be your guide. 

The white throne with yellow cushions is Gaddi-Nizam’s throne in the Chowmahalla Palace at Quil Wath, Hyderabad. It was photographed in 2009 by Kinshuk Sunil, who is from Ghazabad, India and is the founder of Hashstash Studios. https://www.flickr.com/photos/kinshuksunil/3582226486  

The beautiful sorrell coloured marble throne is  the 19th century Assembled Throne Room Qing Dynasty Throne and Footrest, photographed by Mary Harrsch in 2006 at the Jordan Schnitzer Museum of Art on the campus of the University of Oregon in Eugene, Oregon.   https://www.flickr.com/photos/mharrsch/173460102  Mary also photographed the first century Roman throne, complete with serpent back, at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art in California.  https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Throne#/media/File:Roman_throne_LosAngeles_County_Museum_California.jpg  Mary, who lives in Oregon, is a politically liberal, independent woman who is passionately interested in technology, history, and education.  Of all the thrones shown, this Qing Dynasty throne would be my throne of choice. It would look beautiful in my throne room and has the added benefit of matching my tiara. 



Mike Fisher retired after 35 years of maintaining NASA software. He now does things like photographing thrones, such as the replica of Emperor Qin's peacock throne in the Forbidden Gardens of Katy, Texas. Apparently a man of Chinese ancestry in Seattle built Forbidden Gardens in an effort to give Americans a taste of Chinese culture. Unfortunately, the site he selected was in the path of a freeway and has been paved over since Mike took the photo.


A red throne was made for King Charles III of Spain, gilded sometime before 1772 in Madrid and including his profile in the medallion atop the backrest. Since the late 19th century each Spanish sovereign has had a copy of this original throne, incorporating his own portrait. In the Royal Palace in Madrid now are matching thrones for King Don Juan Carlos I and Queen Dona Sofia. However, this photo was taken by Jebulon, during an exhibition of various thrones, in Château de Versailles France. Jebulon is French and proud to live in the centre of Paris.  https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Throne_Charles_III_of_Spain.jpg?uselang=en-gb

Tinka is the King Charles spaniel sitting on a blue bench.  She was photographed by any.user in Westerstede in Germany.      https://www.flickr.com/photos/anyuser/959413361  We have plenty of dogs here on Benchsite, and plenty of dog benches, most of them well-behaved.

The beautiful log throne is called Autumn’s Throne.  It was photographed by Lilian in October 2013 at Kadrioru Park in Tallinn, Estonia. Lilian currently lives in Edinburgh. https://www.flickr.com/photos/photographingfairies/10189946103 For more log benches (and cake) see  http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/log-benches-just-logs-and-cake.html 


Marc, a technical writer from Brighton, is neither anti-royal nor anti-wedding. But in 2011 the Royal Wedding Sickbag made him laugh, so he photographed it.  https://www.flickr.com/photos/murk/5499694936


The Remove and Replace pallett throne is one of a wide range of furniture and other useful things made from pallets. Sheds, gardens, panelling - they can make anything from pallets.  http://removeandreplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/pallet-furniture-ideas-_14.jpg  I often turn to this site for inspiration, most recently celebrating the green-ness of recycled, upcycled and repurposed benches

We have a short history of toilet benches here on Benchsite, among them the Dagobert Wooden Toilet Throne from Herbeau's Powder Room Couture collection. It pays homage to King Dagobert’s reign (629 to 638 AD) as last ruler of the French Merovingian dynasty. The classic French children’s song, Le Bon Roi Dagobert tells the story of King Dagobert arriving late for an important council meeting with his trousers on inside out. As a fitting introduction to this whimsical toilet, a music box begins playing Le Bon Roi Dagobert as the lid is raised. The flush mechanism is connected to a pull chain and bell, thus letting everyone know that all is well in the kingdom.  http://www.herbeau.com/index.html


The ivory throne of Tsar Ivan IV (Ivan The Terrible) of Russia was photographed in 2003 by Stan Shebs and made available on wikimedia at  https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ivans_ivory_throne.jpg?uselang=en-gb  Stan Shebs is a software engineer who likes stamp collecting, sailing ships, ship models, history, rock climbing, mountaineering, languages, literature and botany. Ivan IV is better known as Ivan the Terrible, Russian Grand Prince of Moscow from 1533. or good reason. 1) He buried his sixth wife alive  2) he murdered his son. What more do you need to know?  

The terrific Ivan the Terrible doll is from Uneek Doll Designs, a wonderful etsy shop in Alabama where Debbie Ritter makes dolls of all kinds of historic and literary figures www.etsy.com/shop/uneekdolldesigns  Debbie takes a more broadminded view of Ivan, whose long reign saw the transforming of Russia into a new and more powerful nation. He was described as intelligent and devout, yet given to rages and prone to frequent outbreaks of mental illness. . Some, at his time, called him Ivan Groznyi the name, which, although usually translated as Terrible, actually means something closer to Inspiring Awe and carries meanings of might, power and strictness rather than cruelty.


In 2006 Abraham Lincoln was back in town. Marko Forsten, a  special library assistant, photographed Abe on his bench in Niles, Chicago Illinois. Marko lives in Helsinki and his photostream has some brilliant Northern Lights photos, taken this year. https://www.flickr.com/photos/edgebrook/5199684735/

The red throne with a white cross is the imperial throne of Tsar Nicholas II of Russia, photographed in 2015 by RV1864, who is fascinated by abandoned buildings, vintage adverts, 3D renders. RV1864 is an ex paramedic, urban explorer and professional drunkard from London.  https://www.flickr.com/photos/summer1978/17958566015/  


Uccellopoultry is a real person and also an avatar from the virtual world of Second Life. In 2006 she built a series of thrones and wrote a mythology for each. The Akegata Throne, or the Throne of Dawn is in the Akegata Court in The Lydia Rose Memorial Park in Nangrim, Second Life. The woman in red on an orange throne features three Torii gates in its design and Uccellopoultry was rather pleased to learn that the gate is associated with birds at rest ... Uccello Poultry sitting. https://www.flickr.com/photos/uccellopoultry/303146803/  For some truly eggciting chicken benches see http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2015/04/no-spring-chicken-benches.html


Castle Broccoli is the country seat of the Brassica family, which now includes Lord Brassica, Fifth Earl of Drizzly, his wife Lady Jessica Brassica (nee Kholrabi) and their numpty son Root. Oh, and Root's wife Innocent. The story of their Scottish wedding benches is worth it just for the outfits. 

Tonks is Lord Brassica's faithful horse and many different horse benches featured on Benchsite at new year 2015. After all, 2015 was the Year of the Horse.

The tiara and carriage bench is from Kim Baxter, who lives in Manchester, New Hampshire.  Her shop is at https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/kbaxter225  KBW & Co. make an assortment of hand crafted items, including wooden stools which are sturdy and strong. Kim loves painting on wood so most of the signs and stools have been made by her husband and herself by recycling old pallet wood. 


The Game of Thrones pedicart is from Popculturegeek, photographed at the San Diego Comic Convention in 2011. Doug Kline at San Diego Comic-Con connects  the creators, icons, and fans of geek culture online and at events around the world. His albums feature images from those events.  https://www.flickr.com/photos/popculturegeek/5976785707/   For lots of benches on the move check out Dude, where's my bench?

Miggy, Mungo and Miggy's mum happened upon Sterling Castle in Scotland one summer's day and there, behold, they saw a whole procession of royal folk.

The two dark-haired ladies, Black Agnes and Cleopatra, are unique dolls by Debbie at Uneek Designs. Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt, is well known as Elizabeth Taylor. Agnes Randolph, Countess of Dunbar and March, lived from 1312–1369, and was known as Black Agnes for her dark hair. She was the wife of Patrick, 9th Earl of Dunbar and March. Agnes became renowned for her heroic defence of Dunbar Castle against an English attack by the William Montagu, 1st Earl of Salisbury, which began on 13 January 1338. www.etsy.com/shop/uneekdolldesigns

Cleopatra on a banquette is an 1891 cabinet card image of French actress Sarah Bernhardt (1844–1923) by Napoleon Sarony. Bernhardt is dressed as Cleopatra. The photo is from the Harvard Theatre Collection, Houghton Library, Harvard University. Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Harvard_Theatre_Collection_-_Sarah_Bernhardt_TCS_2_(Cleopatra).jpg#/media/File:Harvard_Theatre_Collection_-_Sarah_Bernhardt_TCS_2_(Cleopatra).jpg

Wally Gobetz is a thoroughly reliable historian and photographer who reports full details of his photographs for us. The Egyptian New Kingdom pair of limestone statues is from the reign of Amunhotep III, circa 1390-1353 BC. Wally writes that it represents a married couple: the man is Nebsen, a scribe in the royal treasury, and his wife Nebet-ta, is a singer in the temple of the goddess Isis. They each pass one arm behind the other, a symbol of closeness. In order to convey this sentiment and to create a harmonious design, the sculptor extended the arms to unnatural lengths. https://www.flickr.com/photos/wallyg/2434571867  The statue is now at the Brooklyn Museum in New York City.

The pretty pink and blue Princess bench is Thy Royal Wardrobe at Disney Princess Fantasy Faire at Disneyland. It was photographed by Loren Javier in 2009 and appears on his photostream at https://www.flickr.com/photos/lorenjavier/4006915695/   Loren lives in LA and has an annual pass at Disneyland. But he has loads of photos from Universal Studios too, including a whole collection of Norman Bates and the Bates Motel. See what happened to Miggy there on a spine-tingling Halloween  bench.

Pascal, aka Pasukaru, has kept me amused with his Bench Monday Lego photos and there are so many that I can often find one for Benchsite. This time it's the princess and the frog, photo 27/365 back in 2010. The princess has brought her fiancé along for Bench Monday.   https://www.flickr.com/photos/pasukaru76/4963571052/  

Back in 2013, as warriors beat their swords into plowshares, Shawn DeWolfe beat his collection of keyboards into a chair-- a Throne of Nerds. This throne is Nerds 7. Who is Shawn DeWolfe? A re-imagined person/evil genius from Victoria British Columbia.


Victor Pena has a story to tell about Dethroned by Love, the armchair on the hill that overlooks the Alhambra in Granada, Spain. As Victor tells it, Boabdil el Chico was the last Moorish king of Granada. Fleeing the city when it was invaded by Christians, he stopped atop this hill, turned his head to see his beloved city for the last time and cried, 
Cry like a woman what you could not defend like a man. Apparently this legend comes from the imagination of a Christian priest whose intention was to denigrate the figure of Boabdil, but over time seems to have achieved the opposite effect. What a brilliant story and what a great photograph! No wonder Victor won all kinds of awards for it. https://www.flickr.com/photos/vicotrew/8222224866


Perfect for storing tiaras, the crown jewels bench is from Levels of Discovery, who make children's storage benches in all sorts of colours and themes. There are benches for fire engines, jungles, alphabets, and even a Princess storage bench for Her Royal Highness. http://www.levelsofdiscovery.com

Scott Smith is a laser technician currently living in Orlando. He writes about wizards and witches and he blogs about Disney's human element. He also helps found cameras and orphaned pictures find their way home. In 2011 the photographed the Mardi Gras king and his blue-haired queen. The photograph in his Flickr photostream is accompanied by a dialogue called The Conspiracy of the Crown, Act IV, Scene VII.  https://www.flickr.com/photos/scottrsmith/5595150095/

John Brown's bench is at Osborne House on the Isle of Wight. If you saw the film Mrs. Brown with Judi Dench and Billy Connolly you'll know who John Brown is. If not, all you need to know is that Queen Victoria's husband Albert died and she was inconsolable, though her servant John Brown (1826-1883) did his best to cheer her up. What kind of guy was he? According to the memorial bench, a truer, nobler, trustier heart, more loving and more loyal, never beat in a human breast. The photo is by Anthony McCallum, a former nurse turned-photographer, at ©wyrdlight.com

In January 2010 David Anstiss photographed Queen Victoria's inauspicious bench at Rolvenden in Kent. The bench was presented to the Parish of Rolvenden by Mrs. W. Judge in memory of her husband, Mr Will Judge, and his grandfather Mr. James Judge, in June 1950. The stone plaque reads GVRI Silver Jubilee 6 May 1935, The site presented by the Sparkeswood Estate.  http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Queen_Victoria%27s_Bench_-_geograph.org.uk_-_1711073.jpg 


The regal bench with its skinny royal dogs is the Quinta de Regaleira bench at Sintra, in Portugal. It was photographed by Husond and made available on wikimedia at  http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Regaleira_bench_2.JPG?uselang=en-gb  A husond is apparently an Icelandic duck but the photographer is Portuguese, so neither a duck nor Icelandic. 


The intriguing portrait of Pope Innocent X on his throne was painted by the Spanish painter Diego Velazquez (1599-1660) around 1650. It is in the public domain and available at

The seashell throne given to me by Lord Brassica is one I saw very recently in Seaview, Isle of Wight. It has a brilliant seashell theme and a great, um sea view.

For more glorious island benches from the Isle of Wight Paradise Island see http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/my-paradise-island.html

Randy von Liski does old postcards. Architecture, automobiles, Americana, landscapes, nature, and street photography are his primary photographic interests. In 2010 he was photographing Waggoner, Illinois, a village about 30 miles south of Springfield where the population was only 245 at the 2000 census. While some business district thoroughfares are known for their wooden benches, Waggoner does them one better by providing bucket seats.

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