My Swimming Bench

I'm going to show you my swimming bench but first I'm just going to do a quick lap around Paradise Island. 

The Swimmer 1923, Yasuo Kuniyoshi (1889 -1943)

By swimming bench of course I don't mean a bench that swims.

And I don't mean a bench to swim on.

I mean the bench I use when I go swimming in the sea most days from April to November. 

If you live in the Caribbean, that might not be impressive. On the other hand, if you live in the Isle of Skye, you'll be full of admiration. Or else think I'm bonkers. 

Bonkers.

This is Eddie, my Inner Editor. You may have seen him on some of the other Benchsite posts. He is scrupulously efficient, critical of this blog, and very annoying. 

Eddie:  This is beginning to sound familiar. Or is it just the same unfair introduction you give me every time?

You have never been swimming in the North Sea in April, have you?

Eddie:   I have not.

Have you ever been swimming in the Arctic Ocean?

Eddie:   Certainly not. I think I know this blog though. It's the one with the poem that doesn't rhyme.

Yes, alright. I hope regular readers will bear with me. This is a reworking of a previous post called My Swimming Bench. There is new material in it though. Think of it as My Swimming Bench:The Sequel.

Eddie:  Will there be a prequel?

I doubt it. Let me get on with it now will you.

As some of you will know, I'm a keen swimmer. Here I am, like Venus emerging from the sea.

Venus Anadyomene 1922, Georges Hanna Sabbagh

Eddie: Your opinion. Just saying. 

Here I am getting ready for my swim. Excuse me while I put on my lippy.

Flapper in a Bathing Suit Putting on Lipstick 1931, Rafael de Penagos

I'm not really one to lounge around showing off my swim wear.

On The Beach 1927, Zinaida Serebriakova (1884-1967)

But don't I look great in that flapper bathing suit? 

Two Figures Kneeling 1966, Wayne Thiebaud 

OK, I confess, this is not me. I am not one of those poseurs who sits on the sand and never gets wet. 

Bathers 1909, Johan Krouthen

Eddie: I'm growing weary. Are you a keen swimmer or not? 

So keen am I that every Easter I start the swimming season with a quick dip in the English Channel. 

The Swimmer 1912, Felix Etie Bonnet

No wonder I am so serene. 

I swim in all manner of seas, lakes, rivers, pools and ponds. Here I am making my way across Lake Bled in Slovenia.

This could be anybody. And any lake for that matter.

It's me. In Lake Bled. And this is me in Lake Garda. Everyone else seemed to wait for the ferry to take them across. Me, I just swam.

So what do you want, a medal?

No, I'm just trying to show my commitment to swimming.

There's a very nice pool here in Fribble; have you ever been in it?

No. I like wild swimming.  I will swim almost anywhere. 

 

Crocodiles do not swim here so that's ok. 

My ideal is a warm glassy lake like this one in northern Italy.

However, I will swim in most conditions.

You do have your limits though.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/andrey_747/6776208229

Yes. Call me a wimp but I like to have my swimming water free of ice and polar bears.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/ucumari/13057927464

What about a normal swimming pool? Is that too civilised for you?

I'd need to wear my sunscreen mask for that.

Sunscreen mask 1928

Very flattering. You'll have the pool to yourself.

I'm quite happy with a swimming pool if there's nothing else.

Look at all those empty benches. Why aren't you swimming here then? 

See those signs? Apparently you're only allowed to swim on top of the water. Swimming underwater or drowning is absolutely forbidden. 

I see what you mean. Too many rules.  

Here I am in the cold fairy pools of the East Lyn river in Devon.

There's no proof that it's you.

You're right, Eddie. This is actually Miggy, my imaginary friend. She's a keen swimmer too.

So don't pretend it's you.

It doesn't matter who it is. This is about my swimming bench. 

Could we possibly see this bench? Would that be too much to ask?

First I'd like to show you this swimming bench with a very small man on it. 

image from Jan Williams at www.thecaravangallery.co.uk

Nice bench. Are you sure it's a swimming bench though? There is no water in sight. There are no swimmers. 

The important thing is that the man looks ready to swim. 

I'm ready for lunch but that doesn't mean I'm a banana.

In my town of Fribble-under-Par here on Paradise Island I swim from The Plunge. The name makes it sound like one of those much-loved retro lidos but that's not the case. It's just a seawall with a lot of rock and a tide which varies from full-to-the-brim In to the truly outgoing. I have never, ever seen anyone swimming here.

So what makes it a swimming bench then? Just asking.

Well, it has to involve a swimmer and a bench.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/mikecogh/15888025901/

It looks pretty tough swimming through all that concrete. Is this you?

No, but here I am swimming at The Plunge on a good day.

Liar, liar, pants on fire. This is not The Plunge, even on a good day.

Right again, Eddie. This is the Bay of Pigs in Cuba. It is the hottest place I have ever been in my life. The rocks were razor-sharp, the air was choked with mosquitoes and the water temperature was . . . 

There is no bench, you got the location wrong, and this possibly isn't even you. This picture should not be here. 

Sorry, Eddie. Let me confirm: this is me in the Bay of Pigs. 

And here are Miggy and Mungo on their first day of the swimming season at The Plunge. I could be wrong but it looks like Mungo is finding it a bit chilly.  

image from Miggy's mum

Is there a sewage outlet nearby? It doesn't look very inviting.

It isn't a good swimming place because there's lots of seaweed. But seaweed is actually very good for you: if you're in trouble you can sea kelp.

Not funny.

Bench-wise it's brilliant.

The Plunge is awash with benches. There are benches inscribed to all types of people here. There's a bench for a Master Mariner, a carnival president, a choirmaster, a physician. Some of them, long departed, are remembered in benchy birthday celebrations. 

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Birthday_decorations.JPG

Some of them are decorated for Christmas. 

There's even a bench for All my dogs over a lifetime. 

Not my dogs, obviously; I only have one dog. His name is Sit and he hates going anywhere near The Plunge or indeed water of any kind. Here he is.

© Teodor Ostojic | Dreamstime Stock Photos

It must have escaped your notice that this is a prairie dog. Not a normal dog. Does the word prairie mean anything to you?

I see what you mean, Eddie. A prairie dog lives on the prairie. So he'd be unlikely to be swimming down at The Plunge.

My point exactly. It's taking an awfully long time to get to the swimming bench bit.

I'm coming to that. 

Every bench along The Plunge belongs to someone, except this bench in the foreground, which has no inscription. 

This is my swimming bench.

image by Alexandra Thompson

Somewhat underwhelming.

I chose it because it has steps going down to the sea. OK, the steps are slippery with seaweed and yes, I once fell off them and tumbled into the water head first. 

I think I was a bit distracted.

Shotput Master 1927, Conrad Felixmuller

It has to be said that the swimming here is not a Wild Swimming wet dream. But that doesn't matter because this post is not about swimming; it's about my swimming bench. 

So you keep saying.

Here's my bench on a cold, foggy night in October when I couldn't swim out to the buoys because I couldn't see the buoys. 

And here is a poem I wrote in honour of the bench.

Uninscribed

There’s no date
so I’ll put today
I’ll write
She loved to swim in October
even though it’s a cold grey
shiver of swimmers day
Because there’s no inscription
and even though it’s silty and rocky
I’ll write
This was her favourite swimming hole
and even though there are nicer places to swim
I’ll write
She loved to swim here
and because this is no one’s bench
and there’s no one’s name
I’ll put mine

The poem appears in a book about benches which is written by writers from the Shore Women writing group. Benchmarks contains brilliant poems and photographs.

Are you trying to sell this book by any chance?

Not necessarily. I'm just saying that once you've seen it, you will never pass by a bench again without a great deal of curiosity.

I have a feeling I might be an exception.

So, you may be wondering how I keep this swimming bench just for myself. 

Can't say I care one way or another.

You're so supportive, Eddie.

It's what I'm here for. 

So now, if you don't mind, I'm just going to do another quick lap around Paradise Island.

That's gratitude for you.

Yes. Thanks. 

Nice work. The only thing is, your swimming bench poem still doesn't rhyme.

For more about swimming benches see swimming benches from all over the world and a tribute to the people who swim from them. 



Credits

Personally, I find Eddie rather hard to work with but if you like his style, you can see the posts he has ruined edited for me on Benchsite. In 2013 there were the orange benches. Eddie got stressed out and threw a strop. He interfered with my careful numbering system in 31 Things to Do on a Bench. In 2014 there were the Blue Monday benches in January and then, worst of all, the Red Bench disaster in February. I am having to rethink my animal editors. Monkeys are bad enough butcats . . . as for Meredith, don't get me started. Put it this way: if I had to call in Noah to round up animal benches for the ark, monkeys and cats would not be on it. 

The Swimmer 1923 is probably not swimming around Paradise Island. She's by Japanese-American artist Yasuo Kuniyoshi (国吉 康雄) 1889 -1943.

The Swimmer, unfortunately is not me. She's French - La Nageuse - painted in 1912 by the French artist Tobeen, also known as Felix Etie Bonnet (1880-1938). 

Flapper in a Bathing Suit Putting on Lipstick was painted in 1931 by Spanish illustrator and painter Rafael de Penagos (1889-1954). Penagos is credited for creating a new modern 1930s woman who is slender, sporty, exotic, has bobbed hair, painted nails, lipstick, wears makeup, and, importantly, smokes cigarettes. Penagos was a fan of art deco style and appealed to trendy Madrilenians, who are something like hipster Londoners, only in Madrid. 

The Bathers are very attractive sitting on the sand. This Realist painting was done in 1909 by the Swedish artist Johan Krouthen (1858-1932). Krouthen painted with the Skagen artists for a short while. He believed the artist must always paint nature at its best so, in addition to being Realist in their style, the subjects of his work, whether landscapes or people, are idealised. 

The Two Kneeling Figures side by side look pretty formidable to me. I wouldn't mess with them. They were painted in 1966 by Wayne Thiebaud, an American who was born in 1920 and is known for his well-defined and colourful works of commonplace objects. He has painted a lot of pastries, ice cream, and cake, which makes him a favourite in my book.  

The photo of my swimming bench and the clever cover of Benchmarks were taken by Alexandra Thompson, who designed the book and took most of the photographs within it. If you look at the Benchmarks book cover from a side angle you can see the bench pictures spelling out a mystery word.

Unless I'm travelling, my swimming is here at home on gorgeous Paradise Island. You can see some of my Found Swimming places on various posts such as Lake Como, the Ionian islands of Greece, and the alpine lakes of Switzerland, Italy and Austria. The lakes shown in this story are: Lake Bled in Slovenia; Lake Garda; Lake Caldonazzo in Italy; Lake Bohinj in Slovenia. The swimming pool is at Adjovscina in Slovenia. It was a perfect hot day and the pool was completely unused, to the point where I wondered what was wrong with it. There was nothing wrong with it and I had it all to myself. 

 Andrey Papko is from Murmansk in Russia. He's an Extreme Winter Swimmer. On the day this photo was taken the air temperature was -15°C  and the water was a balmy  2°C    https://www.flickr.com/photos/andrey_747/6776208229

The polar bear is Patches, photographed by Valerie Engelleiter, who is a volunteer at the North Carolina Zoo (USA). She also works for Polar Bears International. If you look through her photos and sets you will see her love of bears. In November 2010 she was invited to Churchill, Manitoba by Polar Bears International and for her, seeing polar bears in their natural environment was a dream come true. Valerie's stunning animal photographs are at  https://www.flickr.com/photos/ucumari/13057927464

Mikey the Mariner knows a thing or two about swimming. Well, sea swimming at least, and certainly sea benches. 

The big red swimming bench is from Jan Williams at The Caravan Gallery which tours around with brilliant photographic exhibitions. See http://www.thecaravangallery.co.uk    The bench is in fact in New South Wales in Australia. And Eddie is correct; it's not a swimming bench.

Mike Cogh lives in Adelaide and photographed the bench with the large mosaic swimmer at the Aquatic Centre in Sturt in 2014.  https://www.flickr.com/photos/mikecogh/15888025901/  Mike has an extensive set of over 800 Humble Bench photographs at http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikecogh/ 

The picture of me swimming in the Bay of Pigs in Cuba was taken by Mungo, who was also swimming in the Bay of Pigs. There were no pigs. It was much too hot for pigs or indeed any other living thing. This was a day in the depths of December winter: how much hotter can it get on Planet Earth? 

The picture of Miggy and Mungo doing their first swim of the year at The Plunge was taken by Miggy's Mum in April 2011. 

The birthday bench is not actually at The Plunge, it's at Yarmouth Common on the Isle of Wight. But you get the idea of a celebratory bench and isn't it brilliant that people remember departed loved ones by decorating their benches? The photo was taken by Editor5807 in June 2011 and made available on Wiki Commons at 
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Birthday_decorations_on_Yarmouth_Common.JPG    An update on this is that the bench is now dedicated so strictly speaking, it is no longer my bench. 

There are some buff bodies painted in art sometimes. One is a 1927 painting of the Middle Europe Shotput Master. Yes, that's what it's called. The artist is Conrad Felixmuller.

The blacktail prairie dog, aka My Dog Sit, is from http://www.dreamstime.com/blacktail-prairie-dog-stock-photos-imagefree234433

Footnote in 2017: I am seething. Someone has done a commemoration plaque on MY bench. How dare they? 

Cat Benches for World Cat Day

There is something about a cat that always loves a bench. 

World Cat Day is on August 8th and it seems a good time to celebrate our bench-loving feline friends with a Cat Map of the World.  

 www.etsy.com/shop/ArtPause

In fact, some would say the whole world is just a cat playing with Australia.

Silver Elephant, Facebook

What better guest editor could I choose than Meredith, who comes highly recommended from Felineeditors.com?  She has previously edited both Mathematica Felinica and The Litter Tray Times, as well as the St. Helier Bench story here at Benchsite.

Meredith: I would like to make it clear that I am not on a bench. I prefer a soft double bed with a good thick duvet. Most cats do.

www.etsy.com/shop/3crows

I'm trying to start out on a positive note here because I had a few problems when Meredith edited my St. Helier post back in February. I won't go into detail but suffice to say that Meredith went off to have a nap and I had to finish the post by myself. That won't happen here, I'm sure.

So Meredith, what advice can you give cat lovers about benches for World Cat Day?

Meredith:  Get a cat. Get a bench. Go away. Once the cat has had a nice kip on the bench, put down some food. Go away. Let the cat eat the food in peace. 

Yes, I'm sure cat owners understand this.

Meredith: There's no such thing as a cat owner. 

Yes, of course you're right. 

Meredith: I am always right. 

photograph by Kelly Riley

Meredith, this is a picture of you. There is no bench in this picture and it is irrelevant to the story.  Please will you stick with cat bench images. 

Meredith: this sort of thing?

Ai Art Universe

Nice, but no. 

Meredith: This?

Ai Art Universe

No.

Meredith: how about this? 

I don't mean just cats on benches. There are plenty of those. I mean actual cat benches. 

Meredith: what's in it for me?

A warm lap I guess.

Woman with Cat 1921, Fernand Leger

Meredith: Not enough. I'm no soppy lap cat. 

What if I threw in some clotted cream?

Morning Meal 1880, Emile Munier

Meredith: now you're talking.

So show me some cat benches.

Meredith: Like this?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/janepaludanus/6464905013/

No! Not at all like this. 

Meredith: Maybe more like this?

No! These are lovely tartan cats but this is not a cat bench.

Here is a proper Cat Bench from sculptor Don Drumm, who makes beautiful metal sculptures, some of which are benches:

 http://www.flickr.com/photos/lehcar1477

See what I mean, Meredith? The cats aren't just on the bench; they are the bench.

 http://www.flickr.com/photos/lehcar1477

Here's another one. It's from the Willow Glen Elementary School in San Jose, California:

 http://www.waymarking.com/waymarks/WMDN8X

And here's a French one. It's the Toulouse Lautrec cat bench celebrating Le Chat Noir, the black cat nightclub that was so popular in Paris in the 1880s.

 http://www.flickr.com/photos/18417558@N00/

Meredith: I don't find black cats very colourful. Just a personal thing I guess.

Well, here you go then: a brightly coloured mosaic cat bench from Dordrecht in Holland.

my photo

Meredith: I steer clear of the Low Countries. I never feel at home in a place where you might get your feet wet any time a dike breaks.  

Or a bench.

Duncan Gibson, Facebook

Cats always find a way of making themselves at home. This Alley Cat seems to have found himself a pleasant spot in front of a library in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

 http://www.flickr.com/photos/artfan70

Meredith: cats are very cultural you know. This cat is in the MOMA in NYC.

Angora Cat 1937, Morris Hirschfield

Well, it's a bench at least. Sort of. But could you not use abbreviations please.

Some cats like the bright lights of the city.

They're fine in the suburbs too; cats can be great commuters.

 www.etsy.com/shop/pixamatic

That's cat with jobs.

Cats With Jobs, Facebook

Have you got any cat benches to show us, Meredith?

I thought you'd never ask. 

This is His Excellency's cat Maxi. 

Meredith, this is a cat by a bench. It is not a cat bench. Although Maxi is lovely, this is not the kind of picture we want for World Cat Day.

Here is another picture of Maxi. It shows his true character as a cat of a relaxed nature.

This is a cat under a bench. It is not a cat bench. We should be showing actual cat benches. Like this one.

Richard Bawden, British designer

Meredith: Nice. 

And here's a cat bench dedicated to a cat called Sammy, who used to live with Chris Davis in Portland.  

 www.lightheartedpress.com

I am having difficulty in seeing the point of a cat bench that does not have a cat on it.

It has a cat on it. The painted cat is an integral part of the bench. That's what I mean by a Cat Bench for the purposes of this post. 

The words narrow and minded come to mind. 

OK, I'll try again. Here is a bench dedicated to black cats. 

Or chats noirs, if you want to put it that way.

 http://www.artshaman.com

I hope we're not going to get hung up on fur colour. That's what people do. They paint their living room and want a cat to match the carpet.

I don't think that's going to happen here.

It already has. Here's my friend Suu Kii, who perfectly matches the garden swing.

image by Helen Danby

I see what you mean. She looks splendid. But that's beside the point . . .

Mungo's cat Abbey has the most gorgeous pink cream fur.

A human friend of mine took a picture of Abbey to her hairdresser and demanded to have her hair highlighted like Abbey's fur. 

If I can just cut in here . . . 

My friend Mackie has excellent fur as well.

image by Joan Waddleton

Meredith, we need to show some cat benches here. That is the point of this post. 

Abbey never cared for benches. 

Nor did Bertie for that matter. He preferred picnic tables.

Meredith, could you please stop showcasing your friends.  

OK. Here is Regan, who seems to be sitting on a fur bench in Victorian times. 

I don't know Regan as I didn't live in Victorian times.

www.etsy.com/shop/animalfancy

This isn't quite what I had in mind . . . 

My friend Cotton was put on a bench.

photo by Joanna Michalak

He had to claw his way off.

 

photo by Joanna Michalak

Really, Meredith, this show of your friends has got to stop! 

This French cat doesn't like benches either. He's under the bench, relaxing on the gravel. Even gravel is better than a bench.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Katze_in_beaufort-en-argonne.JPG

But this is a post about benches, Meredith. As you well know. 

You want benches? I'll give you benches. 

This is a London cat, Boutros Boutros, on a church pew.

Boutros Boutros was a peacekeeper I think, so just to keep the peace, I'm not going to say anything more about this. But I would really like to show some of the lovely cat benches I've found. That's if you can stop putting up pictures of yourself and your friends.

Does the phrase Talk To The Paw mean anything to you?

You've done this before, Meredith. You were rude to me in the St. Helier post. But this time I'm going to bounce right back.

http://cat-bounce.com

Are these cats by any chance bouncing?

Indeed they are. At  http://cat-bounce.com  you can choose a cat and make it bounce. You can even make it rain cats and dogs. 

You have reached a new low, Seashell.

I know. But I digress. I need to sit down.

Meredith: I'll carry on. Here are two cats on a bench. 

Two Cats 1918, Suzanne Valadon

Not enough.

Meredith: ok, three cats. 

Say, what do you think of this lovely hand-woven bench from Mexico?

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bioartesanias36.JPG

Great for sharpening claws. 

OK, what about this shabby chic miniature cat bench?

 www.etsy.com/shop/mycupofteaminiatures

I wouldn't be able to stretch out on this bench. 

You might not. But there are some very small cats around . . .  

 www.etsy.com/shop/suescami

You seem to be getting off the subject here, Seashell. This isn't a post about size, is it? 

I agree. Shall we stick to showing cat benches? 

I'd like to see some books. I'm in a cat book club you know.

Scott Metzger cartoons

You may remember this book bench from my World Book Day post. It nicely combines the affinity between cats and books and benches. 

 http://www.artshaman.com

This cat is outside the Broughty Ferry Library in Scotland. He seems to be running toward the book. 

 Malcolm McCrow at www.mccrow.org.uk

No, he's running toward the earth under those trees. I'll say no more.

People often find cats' intentions a bit of a puzzle. This is a one thousand piece jigsaw puzzle from a painting by Francien Westering; it was photographed by jigsaw fanatic Leonisha for her Flickr photostream. 

 http://www.flickr.com/photos/leonisha

It's cats on a bench though, did you notice that? You're breaking your own rules here; you said you wanted cat benches.

Indeed I do. Cats and benches go together like, well, mice and cheese.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/yaybenches/ 

Interesting. One of these cats seems to be pretending to be a mouse. I can see some advantages to that. 

I'm sure you can. 

These two cats are at either end of a bench on Moor Common in Luton. 

www.friedelbueckingwoodsculptor.co.uk

Their sculptor, Friedel Buecking, says they are not just wary of each other but also uneasy about a small creature in the middle of the bench which could be a baby dragon.

Cats like wooden benches because the wood reminds them of trees for sharpening claws.

Only when there's no expensive sofa within reach.  

This wooden cat is very happy on his wooden bench. 

Nice wallpaper. Some of these cats are wearing silly costumes, though.

What, like a pearl earring? 

 You know I don't approve of that.

Meredith, you have been known to wear a hat at times.

Only under duress.

And sunglasses.

I hope you're not going to get into the cat bearding thing. Are you? 

I know what you mean, Meredith. It's that thing where people suddenly realise their cat can become a beard. Like this:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/toosour/with/8811087555/

Don't even think about it. 

I'll get on with the story of cat benches.

As well as benches, cats have an affinity with baskets. 

Here are my friends Benny and Boo in a basket. I think their owner ought to fork out for a bigger basket.

photo by Kelly Riley

My friend Mills preferred her trug to any of the benches in the garden. 

Mind you, she rejected a lot of baskets before she finally settled on this one. 

Meredith, I am getting really fed up with you now. You have put in so many pictures of yourself and your friends that I haven't been able to show the cat benches I collected.

I know, I know. I have confused you with someone who cares.

But we need to work together here. It's no good giving me the cold shoulder. 

©AC Manley at acmanley.wordpress.com/

A snow cat. Very funny. 

Cats don't mind snow but they prefer a sunny spot. 

My friends Rosie and Melissa enjoy their seat in the conservatory. Though I would like to point out that this is not, strictly speaking, a bench. 

I would like to see a cat bench.

No can do. But here's a self portrait.

                                                    Norman Catwell, Lucia Heffernan


Do you think you could show even one cat bench, Meredith? 

Would that be too much to ask?

What you have proven, Seashell, is that very few cats prefer benches. In the whole of this post there are only a couple of cats on benches and none of them are there by choice. They have been put there for photo opportunities by people who believe cats prefer benches when in fact they prefer just about anything else. 

Meredith, I found you difficult to work with, as ever, but thank you for sticking with me this time. No catnaps, no sneaking off, no disappearing to get snacks. You did really well. 

Meredith?

Meredith?

photo by Kelly Riley

I've had it with cats. They're too difficult to work with. 


Next time my guest editor is going to be a dog.

This story is dedicated to Boo, who died suddenly on July 31, 2013. She will be much missed in this blog and elsewhere.


Credit



The pretty cobby body cat on the wooden bench lives in Yarmouth, Isle of Wight. 

The Cat Map of the World is by Michael at ArtPause in Coventry, UK. He makes contemporary art and canvas prints in all sorts of interesting ways, for example maps of the world, countries, states, cities and yes, cat maps. The Cat Map of the World comes in bright colours, like this one, and in natural cat colours too. Michael's shop is at www.etsy.com/shop/ArtPause

Meredith is modelled by two cats, one of whom is my own cat Melissa. The other Meredith is Boo, from Bend, Oregon. Melissa and Boo posed for the original cat post about St. Helier. Melissa, like Naomi Campbell, is not prepared to get out of bed for less than ten thousand dollars a day. That puts her out of my price range so I used the same pictures as before. 


If you like Meredith's style of editing and you don't mind cats, see what she did to my post about piano benches. 

Anyone who has cats on the bed will recognise what happens to people when there are two large cats in a double bed. The delightful print is called Night Night and it's from Sara Pulver at www.etsy.com/shop/3crows 

The beautiful Angora Cat was painted in 1937 by Polish-born American artist Morris Hirschfield (1872-1946).

Jane Paludanus is the girl who keeps changing human heads to animal heads. This is her, the Garden Cat, sitting on a bench, in the garden of her old home. I'm not sure where that home is, but Jane lives in the Netherlands now. She misses her old home and felt quite emotional about all the memories stirred up by this picture. https://www.flickr.com/photos/janepaludanus/6464905013/

The Don Drumm bench was made by sculptor Don Drumm, who, in conjunction with Cricket Forge, makes a variety of sculptural pieces for galleries, gifts, and gardens. The cat bench shown here was photographed by Rachel at Ravenwood Curio Shoppe in Jackson, New Hampshire. Jackson is one of those rare places which has its own covered bridge. Rachel has a photostream full of gorgeous images. She loves autumn and there are a lot of beautiful pictures of New Hampshire and pumpkins and Halloween. There are beaches and beach house and surfing and all manner of interesting things at http://www.flickr.com/photos/lehcar1477

The colourful bus stop cat bench is in the Willow Glen neighbourhood of San Jose, California. It was made in 2006 by the pupils of Willow Glen Elementary School and can be seen at http://www.waymarking.com/waymarks/WMDN8X_Striped_Cat_Bench_San_Jose_CA

I found the Toulouse Lautrec cat bench on Flickr. The photostream is by someone who describes himself as a point-and-click photographer. Fine with me. He has an interesting photostream and the very long title of weshallmeetonthebeautifulshore at http://www.flickr.com/photos/18417558@N00/

The so-called Fat Cat on the broken bench is a photo by Duncan Gibson which I saw in a group called Cats That Have Had Enough of Your Shit. I'm sure Meredith is a contributor to that group. 

Alley Cat is a sculpture by Judy Kensley McKie (2005) at www.artworksfoundry.com. It is sited near the Valente Library at Wellington-Harrington in Cambridge, Massachusetts and was photographed by ArtFan70 at Flickr. ArtFan's photostream is at http://www.flickr.com/photos/artfan70

Maxi was a beautiful white cat His Excellency and I had in London and brought with us to Paradise Island. Maxi was a huge, joyous cat who was fond of sunbathing and loved life. He had a penchant for baked potatoes and he once devoured a barbecued chicken. He lived to age 18 and died happily in the garden.  

The painted bench is by Portland, Oregon author Christine Davis from Lighthearted Press. Christine writes books for animal lovers, looks after animals herself, and provides help for people who are bereaved after losing a much-loved pet. She looked after a semi-feral cat called Sammy for years. Sammy disappeared in 2011 and the bench with the painted cat on the back is made in his memory. Christine's work can be seen at www.lightheartedpress.blogspot.com

The cat on the New York subway bench is from Subway 6, one of a collection of vintage subway photographs by Lisa Futterman, who lives and works in Brooklyn. She loves to go out with her camera and capture unique moments around New York City and she also has an obsession with photographing county fairs. Her fine art photographs can be seen at http://www.etsy.com/shop/pixamatic

The Maison des Chat Noirs bench and the A Cat is a Cat book bench are both from Bob Dodson, the Art Shaman, who creates digital art, woodwork, bowl turning, ceramics and all kinds of objects from mixed media. He has a Cat Gallery and reports that his cats have recently learned to type, which could create havoc on his website at http://www.artshaman.com A Cat is a Cat appeared in the World Book Day post in April. 

Suu Kii lives with Helen Danby, who took this lovely picture of her new garden swing. I don't know if Suu Kii just happened to be there, perfectly matching the colour of the swing, or if the swing was chosen to match Suu Kii. Maybe Helen popped into a garden centre with a picture of Suu Kii and asked if they had a swing to match the colour of the cat. 

Abbey National is the only cat we had from a kitten. She quickly became Mungo's cat and was inseparable from him. For twenty years she travelled with us in several countries and was equally comfortable in tents, caravans, and good quality hotels. She knew what to do on ferries and had her own passport for going abroad. The stories of her travels were read onto tape for blind people throughout the 1980s and 90s and she received fan mail from those who enjoyed her stories. And yes, a picture of her was once presented to a hairdresser in London and the colours of her fur were reproduced with some success. 

Mackie is a beautiful pure-bred cat who one day walked into the home of my friends Joan and Harry and demanded to live with them. After some weeks, Joan located Mackie's original owner and it was established that Mackie had left his perfectly good home and wandered quite a few miles away to find Joan and Harry. Happily for Joan and Harry, the original owner agreed to leave Mackie with them and there he has remained. However, Joan and Harry no longer go on holidays or do anything at all which might cause Mackie to decide to walk away and choose another home.  

It's true, Burlington Bertie preferred picnic tables to benches; they're higher and you can get a better view. Bertie came to us from the Cats Protection League when he was four. He had been terrorised by children and was full of fear. But he turned out to be a terrific little character, loving and clever and funny. He was also an excellent traveller and loved the car. And if you like picnic benches, let Lord Brassica, Fifth Earl of Drizzly, be your guide.

Regan is one of many Victorian cat prints from Donna, who sells anthropomorphic animal art prints. It was a popular art form in Victorian times. Donna's shop is at www.etsy.com/shop/animalfancy

Cotton lives with Joanna Michalak. He is one of three cats in her household. Lucky her! 

The beautiful French cat was photographed by Aurel Grone and is available on Wiki Commons at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Katze_in_beaufort-en-argonne.JPG. I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to see people putting good quality photographs in the Commons. 

Maxi and Abbey shared the same house but it would be putting it mildly to say they were not good friends. And then along came a wiry little stray who climbed in through the roof window and made himself at home. The little black cat who restored peace in our house was named Boutros Boutros, after the United Nations peacemaker at the time. 

Cat Bounce is an opportunity to get cats to bounce. I'm not sure why, but maybe that's not the right question. You just pick a cat and make it bounce or spin and when you get bored with that, you can make it rain cats. It's all at http://cat-bounce.com

Yah Benches make mosaic concrete benches. What a find!  http://www.flickr.com/photos/yaybenches/   They're enthusiastic about the art making process and each bench they make is done with a lot of laughter. They have even had to make a rule, "No laughing while moving heavy concrete!!" And they say "Yay!!" all the time. They made the clever, lovely Cats, Mice and Cheese bench. And yes, there is a cat pretending to be a mouse, which no doubt has serious advantages for the cat. 
  
The two cats on the bench in Luton are a wood sculpture by Friedel Buecking, at www.friedelbueckingwoodsculptor.co.uk   Friedel's public bench sculptures are often commissioned for particular sites to become part of the landscape. They invite people to rest and to contemplate the environment. Some of his bench sculptures are carved in one piece from large oak trunks and can weigh over a ton.

Thanks to Helen Danby for sending me Cat Bounce. Should you feel the need, you can select a cat and make it bounce up and down to your heart's content. You don't have to worry about being cruel: it's only a virtual cat. Should you get bored of the stripey cats bouncing, you can introduce colourful cats raining down. It sort of depends on how desperate you are for something to do.  http://cat-bounce.com

The Mexican cat is hand woven from local palm and exhibited in the Museum of Popular Art in Mexico City. The photo is by Laloreed22, a normal high school student who likes to takes photos. http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bioartesanias36.JPG  For a fiesta of glorious Mexican benches see  

http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/a-fiesta-of-mexican-benches.html

The Shabby Chic bench with cats at both ends is a miniature made by Ana Correia in Portugal. Ana is a nurse, amateur pianist, artisan and miniature lover. Her inspiration for handmade miniatures is vintage and shabby style, books, travelling and all the good things in life. Ana's shop is at www.etsy.com/shop/mycupofteaminiatures

The tiny cat on the bench is a stoneware miniature by Sue Scamihorn in Wabash, Indiana. It's called That cat Won't Stay Off My Bench. She has a dog who won't stay off her bench as well; you can see him on the Benchsite big and small and cute and tiny post  The cat is just two inches tall and the bench is three inches. Besides stoneware Sue does garden miniatures, wall spots, whistles, deocrative pottery and jewelry. Her shop is at www.etsy.com/shop/suescami

The cat running along the back of the bench outside the Broughty Ferry Library was photographed by Malcolm McCrow as part of his photographic collection of Broughty Ferry in Scotland. Broughty looks like a brilliant place. Broughty Ferry and other British places can be seen at www.mccrow.org.uk

Millie was a tiny rescue cat we got from the RSPCA in 2008. She was 13 years old at the time and had lost her home for wetting the carpet. She had a tumour growing in her abdomen but despite this, she loved boisterous games and someone had taught her to fetch toys. She played an impressive game of football and could leap high into the air to catch feathers and stuffed mice. She was a good traveller and spent happy week-ends with us. She died age 15 and is much missed.

Cat bearding is one of those strange internet things which occur when people realise they can post pictures of themselves doing weird stuff. So here are a bunch of people using their cats as beards. Yes, it's scary. Yes, it's weird. And yes, if you're a cat owner you're probably going to try it. http://www.buzzfeed.com/summeranne/the-25-most-epic-cat-beards-of-all-time

David's cool cat beard took ten takes and I'm sure he's right in saying that getting a good cat beard photo is harder than it looks. David is from California and his photostream is a riot of glorious colour. He does terrific closeups of all kinds of stuff - lemons, flowers, insects and yes, cats. He belongs to every Cat Group going on Flickr. I'm addicted. Check out his photostream at http://www.flickr.com/photos/toosour/with/8811087555/

The snow cat is a photograph by AC Manley, who says One day of snow and London grinds to halt with the suspension of almost all public transport. Most people had to take the day off work and build cats. AC Manley describes himself as a creative in London. A selection of his photographs in different countries includes people, a colourful door, rubbish, a housing estate and a motion sickness bag. You can have a look at  www.acmanley.wordpress.com/

Melissa and Rosie were sisters, age 10, when they came to us in 2010. They had been starved and neglected but were both affectionate and trusting. At first they stuck together:

After a few months they sat together but apart in the sunroom. Then, as little Rosie gained confidence, they became more and more independent of each other. Eventually they wanted nothing to do with each other and went their own ways. Rosie died in May this year and Melissa now holds the position of every cat's dream: a much-adored and very spoiled Only Cat.

"Norman Catwell" is by Lucia Heffernan, a Taiwanese American born in 1966. Lucia was inspired to paint and draw at a very early age by her mother, a water color artist and teacher.  In the early 1990’s, after graduating with honors from Binghamton University in Fine Arts and Design, she established LDD, a multi-million dollar award winning creative design agen and then moved to Utah, where her creative focus shifted from digital design to oil painting.  "My body of work is an expression & exploration of my fascination with animals, through my paintings, I seek to give animals a voice and a personality."

If for some strange reason you prefer dogs to cats, you can sniff out some excellent dog benches at http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/dog-bench-days-of-august.html

'My other pet is a dog' is a tea-towel I purchased in Greece. There are quite a few tea-towels about Greek Cats around in Greece. And lots of Greek benches too.

Apologies to non-cat readers who probably find this post too cat-centric. If you don't like it, all I can say is Talk To The Paw.